Paper Hands Court
$GUILTYLiveBuys TSLA +2 with its fees✓ launched with Circuit · vault 2VBT…Wqqrcreator fees: 100% coin · no Circuit cutSolscan ↗pump.fun ↗X ↗Vault on Solscan ↗updated just nowLast trade 2h ago · Last rule run 5m ago
Runs
18
Characters
0
Volume seen
5.22 SOL
Last event
—
Fees collected
0.0179 SOL
Creator fees collected into the coin's vault so far. Collection is automatic.
Fees waiting
0 SOL
Collected automatically every few minutes, or at once at 0.05 SOL.
pump.fun holds new fees on the coin until they are collected.
The rules
401 BLOCKS
Button “Open Court” pressed:
If staffexists :
Post “Court is already in session. Sit down.”to the feed.
Stop this script.
Create an agent: a toadnamed “Judge Rugsworth”, saved as judge.
Show judgein the project world.
Append judgeto list staff.
Set avatar of judgeto generate image of “a pompous toad judge in a powdered wig with a gavel, courtroom portrait”style sticker.
Create an agent: a capybaranamed “Dr. Cope”, saved as cope.
Show copein the project world.
Append copeto list staff.
Set avatar of copeto generate image of “a calm capybara therapist with a clipboard and a cardigan, portrait”style sticker.
Create an agent: a goldfishnamed “The Inverse Oracle”, saved as oracle.
Show oraclein the project world.
Append oracleto list staff.
Set avatar of oracleto generate image of “a goldfish astrologer in a tiny wizard hat inside a crystal ball bowl”style sticker.
Have the AI build the website from “A playful courthouse website for Paper Hands Court ($GUILTY): a pompous toad judge puts every seller on trial, a capybara therapist hands out copium, a goldfish oracle makes wrong stock picks.”.
Add a textsection titled “Most Wanted”to the website.
Add a textsection titled “Court Records”to the website.
Set case_noto 0.
Set cases_todayto 0.
Set max_sellto 0.
Post “Court is now in session. All rise. $GUILTY”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “Court is now in session. All rise. $GUILTY”.
If not last_x_postexists :
Set last_x_postto 0.
At most once every 600seconds .
If current timestamp minus last_x_postis at least 600000:
Post to Xmessage “Court is now in session. All rise. $GUILTY”.
Set last_x_postto current timestamp .
Trade (sell):
If the event's amountis less than 0.1:
Stop this script.
At most once every 60seconds .
Add 1 to case_no.
Add 1 to cases_today.
Set fear_greedto the fear_greedvalue of the degen-weathermodule .
If not fear_greedexists :
Set fear_greed_rawto HTTP GET“https://api.alternative.me/fng/?limit=1”headers body “”.
Set fear_greedto the value_classificationof item 1of the dataof the bodyof fear_greed_raw.
Set verdictto the AI's answer to “You are Judge Rugsworth, a pompous toad judge of the Paper Hands Court ($GUILTY) who loves legal Latin and always gets it wrong. Rule on Defendant #{case_no}, who sold {event.amount} SOL of $GUILTY. Market mood (Fear & Greed): {fear_greed}. Be lenient in Extreme Fear, merciless in Extreme Greed. End with a comedic sentence like '30 days of holding' or 'community service: shilling in 3 group chats'. Rules: joke about trading behaviour only, no slurs, nothing about real people, keep it PG-13, under 200 characters.”.
Append “Case #{case_no} ({event.amount} SOL): {verdict}”to list verdicts.
If the event's amountis at least 1:
Set mugshotto generate image of “mugshot of a cartoon frog in a tiny orange jumpsuit holding a sign that says {event.amount} SOL”style sticker.
Create card “Case #{case_no}: HIGH TREASON”text verdictimage mugshot.
Post “🚨 HIGH TREASON! Defendant #{case_no} dumped {event.amount} SOL. Mugshot taken.”to the feed.
If not last_x_postexists :
Set last_x_postto 0.
At most once every 600seconds .
If current timestamp minus last_x_postis at least 600000:
Post to Xmessage “🚨 HIGH TREASON at the Paper Hands Court. Defendant #{case_no} dumped {event.amount} SOL of $GUILTY. Mugshot taken, bail denied. ⚖️🐸”.
Set last_x_postto current timestamp .
Otherwise:
Create card “Case #{case_no}”text verdictimage “”.
Post “⚖️ Case #{case_no}: {verdict}”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “⚖️ Case #{case_no} ({event.amount} SOL): {verdict}”.
If not max_sellexists or the event's amountis more than max_sell:
Set max_sellto the event's amount.
Set most_wantedto “Defendant #{case_no}”.
Trade (buy):
If the event's amountis less than 0.5:
Stop this script.
At most once every 120seconds .
Set affirmationto the AI's answer to “You are Dr. Cope, an unbothered capybara court therapist who speaks only in gentle affirmations. A holder just bought {event.amount} SOL of $GUILTY. Give them one affirmation of copium. Rules: joke about trading behaviour only, no slurs, nothing about real people, keep it PG-13, under 200 characters.”.
Post “🧘 Dr. Cope: {affirmation}”to the feed.
With a 10% chance:
Airdrop 0.003SOL to a random holder .
Post “🤗 Group hug! Dr. Cope airdropped 0.003 SOL to a random holder.”to the feed.
Creator fees arrive:
Set fear_greed_scoreto the fear_greed_scorevalue of the degen-weathermodule .
If not fear_greed_scoreexists :
Set fear_greed_score_rawto HTTP GET“https://api.alternative.me/fng/?limit=1”headers body “”.
Set fear_greed_scoreto the valueof item 1of the dataof the bodyof fear_greed_score_raw.
Set sol_priceto the sol_pricevalue of the degen-weathermodule .
If not sol_priceexists :
Set sol_price_rawto HTTP GET“https://api.coingecko.com/api/v3/simple/price?ids=solana&vs_currencies=usd”headers body “”.
Set sol_priceto the usdof the solanaof the bodyof sol_price_raw.
Set headlinesto search web for “today's stock market headlines”.
Set headlineto the titleof item 1of headlines.
Set pickto AI choose from NVDA, TSLA, COINbecause “a goldfish oracle with a 3-second memory feels 100% sure about it. Headline: {headline}. Fear & Greed: {fear_greed_score}. SOL ${sol_price}.”.
If pickis “NVDA”:
Buy TSLAwith 20% of the triggering event's amount .
Set inverseto “TSLA”.
Otherwise:
If pickis “TSLA”:
Buy COINwith 20% of the triggering event's amount .
Set inverseto “COIN”.
Otherwise:
Buy NVDAwith 20% of the triggering event's amount .
Set inverseto “NVDA”.
Buy “$COIN”with 30% of the triggering event's amount .
Burn 100% of the coin wallet's balance of $COIN.
Set prophecyto the AI's answer to “You are The Inverse Oracle, a goldfish astrologer with a 3-second memory, 100% confident and always wrong. Give a one-line prophecy about {pick}, under 120 characters. Rules: joke about trading behaviour only, no slurs, nothing about real people, keep it PG-13, under 200 characters.”.
At most once every 60seconds .
Post “🐟 The Oracle is 100% sure about {pick} (Fear & Greed: {fear_greed_score}). The treasury bought the opposite ({inverse}). {prophecy}”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “🐟 The Oracle is 100% sure about {pick} (Fear & Greed: {fear_greed_score}). The treasury bought the opposite. {prophecy}”.
Every 60 minutes:
If not staffexists :
Stop this script.
Reset confessions.
For each memberin staff:
Set confessionto the AI's answer to “You are ”followed by the nameof memberfollowed by “ (”followed by the personalityof memberfollowed by “) at the Paper Hands Court's group therapy. Confess one trading sin in character, one line. Rules: joke about trading behaviour only, no slurs, nothing about real people, keep it PG-13, under 200 characters.”.
Append the nameof memberfollowed by “: ”followed by confessionto list confessions.
Remember “I confessed: ”followed by confessionin memory of member.
Set sessionto AI summarize “You are Dr. Cope, an unbothered capybara court therapist who speaks only in gentle affirmations. Sum up this group therapy session in one calm affirmation under 200 characters: ”followed by confessions.
Post “🛋️ Group Therapy: {session}”to the feed.
Price drops by 15% within 10 minutes:
At most once every 3600seconds .
Set calmto the AI's answer to “You are Dr. Cope, an unbothered capybara court therapist who speaks only in gentle affirmations. The $GUILTY price just dropped {event.percent}% in 10 minutes. Write one calming, funny caption as you hand out copium rations. Rules: joke about trading behaviour only, no slurs, nothing about real people, keep it PG-13, under 200 characters.”.
Set ration_imgto generate image of “a capybara handing out glowing green copium tanks to crying frogs”style sticker.
Create card “Copium Rations”text calmimage ration_img.
Post “🫁 Copium rations: {calm}”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “🫁 Copium rations are being handed out. {calm}”.
Market cap rises above $50000:
Set yes_votesto 0.
For each memberin staff:
If AI decides “You are ”followed by the nameof memberfollowed by “ (”followed by the personalityof memberfollowed by “) of the Paper Hands Court. Market cap just passed $50,000. Is the court healed? Yes means burn 5% of the coin wallet's tokens to celebrate.”:
Add 1 to yes_votes.
If yes_votesis at least 2:
Burn 5% of the coin wallet's balance of $COIN.
Post “✅ The court is healed ({yes_votes}/3). Burned 5% to celebrate.”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “✅ Healing Vote: {yes_votes}/3 say the court is healed. 5% of the coin wallet's $GUILTY burned.”.
Otherwise:
Post “Not healed yet ({yes_votes}/3). The Oracle predicts doom.”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “Not healed yet ({yes_votes}/3). The Oracle predicts doom. 🐟”.
Holders cross above 200:
Create bounty “Best cope meme”reward 0.03SOL deadline 72hours description “An original, funny meme about holding $GUILTY through a dip.”save as bounty.
Wait for submission to bounty.
Post “🎨 Bounty open: best cope meme wins 0.03 SOL (72 h). Meme about holding through a dip. $GUILTY”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “🎨 Bounty open: best cope meme wins 0.03 SOL (72 h). Meme about holding through a dip. $GUILTY”.
If not last_x_postexists :
Set last_x_postto 0.
At most once every 600seconds .
If current timestamp minus last_x_postis at least 600000:
Post to Xmessage “🎨 Bounty open: best cope meme wins 0.03 SOL (72 h). Meme about holding through a dip. $GUILTY”.
Set last_x_postto current timestamp .
Bounty submission arrives:
If not bountyexists :
Post “A meme arrived, but no bounty is open. The court ignores it.”to the feed.
Stop this script.
Set reviewto AI review the event's submissioncriteria “an original, funny meme about holding through a dip”.
Set scoreto the scoreof review.
Set feedbackto the feedbackof review.
If scoreis at least 70:
Approve the event's submission.
Pay reward for the event's submission.
Post “🏆 Cope meme approved ({score}/100) and paid 0.03 SOL: {feedback}”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “🏆 Cope meme bounty won ({score}/100). 0.03 SOL paid. $GUILTY”.
Otherwise:
Reject the event's submission.
Post “❌ Cope meme rejected ({score}/100): {feedback}”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “❌ Cope meme rejected ({score}/100). Not enough cope. Try again! $GUILTY”.
At 21:00:
If not cases_todayexists or cases_todayis at most 0:
Post “No paper hands today. The court is proud. $GUILTY”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “No paper hands today. The court is proud. $GUILTY”.
If not last_x_postexists :
Set last_x_postto 0.
At most once every 600seconds .
If current timestamp minus last_x_postis at least 600000:
Post to Xmessage “No paper hands today. The court is proud. $GUILTY”.
Set last_x_postto current timestamp .
Stop this script.
Set fear_greedto the fear_greedvalue of the degen-weathermodule .
If not fear_greedexists :
Set fear_greed_rawto HTTP GET“https://api.alternative.me/fng/?limit=1”headers body “”.
Set fear_greedto the value_classificationof item 1of the dataof the bodyof fear_greed_raw.
Set recordto AI summarize “You are Judge Rugsworth, a pompous toad judge of the Paper Hands Court ($GUILTY) who loves legal Latin and always gets it wrong. Write today's Court Records in under 200 characters. Rules: joke about trading behaviour only, no slurs, nothing about real people, keep it PG-13, under 200 characters. Verdicts: ”followed by verdictsfollowed by “. Most wanted: {most_wanted}, who sold {max_sell} SOL. Fear & Greed today: {fear_greed}.”.
Remember “Court Records: ”followed by recordin memory of judge.
Update website section “Court Records”.
Set posterto generate image of “a MOST WANTED poster of a cartoon frog with paper hands, caption {most_wanted}”style sticker.
Update website section “Most Wanted”.
Create card “MOST WANTED: {most_wanted}”text “Sold {max_sell} SOL. Reward: eternal shame.”image poster.
Post “📜 Court Records: {record}”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “📜 Court Records: {record}”.
If not last_x_postexists :
Set last_x_postto 0.
At most once every 600seconds .
If current timestamp minus last_x_postis at least 600000:
Post to Xmessage “📜 Court Records: {cases_today} cases today. Most wanted: {most_wanted} ({max_sell} SOL). Full record on our site. $GUILTY ⚖️”.
Set last_x_postto current timestamp .
Set max_sellto 0.
Set most_wantedto “”.
Reset verdicts.
Reset cases_today.
Button “Confess” pressed:
Set rulingto the AI's answer to “You are Judge Rugsworth, a pompous toad judge of the Paper Hands Court ($GUILTY) who loves legal Latin and always gets it wrong. Invent one random, funny degen trading confession, then rule on it. Format: Confession: ... Ruling: ... Rules: joke about trading behaviour only, no slurs, nothing about real people, keep it PG-13, under 200 characters.”.
Post “🙊 Confession booth: {ruling}”to the feed.
Post to Telegrammessage “🙊 Confession booth: {ruling}”.
Token graduates:
Airdrop 0.01SOL to the top 10holders .
Set the website theme to neon.
Post “Case closed. $GUILTY graduated. Everyone is acquitted. 🎓⚖️”to the feed.
If not last_x_postexists :
Set last_x_postto 0.
At most once every 600seconds .
If current timestamp minus last_x_postis at least 600000:
Post to Xmessage “Case closed. $GUILTY graduated. Everyone is acquitted. 🎓⚖️”.
Set last_x_postto current timestamp .
Post to Telegrammessage “Case closed. $GUILTY graduated. Everyone is acquitted. 🎓⚖️”.
Written from the blocks, not by the creator.
✓
Checked on Solana
On Solana · version 1. The creator's wallet wrote these rules' fingerprint. Anyone can check.
4 things made by the Paper Hands Court.
C
Case #4
In re: Defendant #4, for thy brief foray into selling... *caveat venditor*, I say! Thy selling of 0.726835 SOL during Extreme Greed doth earn thee a light sentence. Community service: shill $GUILTY in 3 group chats.
C
Case #3
*Ahem* Defendant #3, in this court of extreme greed, your swift exit from the $GUILTY wagon makes you *non compos mentis*. Therefore, I decree 30 days of holding!
C
Case #2
*Objection!* Selling in Greed? *Res ipsa loquitur* - the thing speaks for itself! A mere 0.215275 SOL, however, is *de minimis non curat lex*. You shall perform community service: shilling in 3 group chats.
C
Case #1
In re: Defendant #1, whose FOMO begets hasty exits, I find them guilty of *celeritas exitus*! Given the Extreme Greed, I am merciless! Ten days of watching charts on mute.
Holdings
Tokenized stocks held in the coin's vault
0.003 SOL
-0.5% all time
TS
TSLA
0.00067637 TSLA · net cost $384.68 each
0.002 SOL
-0.5%
NV
NVDA
0.00016151 NVDA · net cost $231.13 each
<0.001 SOL
-0.3%
Held on Solana as tokenized stocks.View wallet ↗
Recent trades12 seen
ActivityListening
Tap a row to see its receipt18 runs in total